"She shone like she swallowed the moon"

[deannawol]

The above is possibly one of my biggest pet peeves about LKH*'s books. It is used ad nauseum in the Merry Gentry books and in some cases, multiple times on the same page. From the very first book, it was established that when two of the fae get together, their skin and eyes start to glow with shared magic, but with Merry's fair skin, it is akin to the Moon shining. But does she always have to use the same metaphor? It's rather annoying at this stage and whenever I see it, it breaks my concentration instantly.

I just finished the new Merry Gentry book, Mistral's Kiss, and to be honest, only about the last 50 pages are worth reading. The rest was pointless sex scenes and continuation of the theme outlined in previous books - two previous books to be exact. It is the continuation/conclusion of the same day that Merry has been in for at least one other book and to be honest, if I'd had a day like that, I would have been out of the Sithen after the first hour!

I get that she's descended from five fertility deities. I get that her method of bringing around change comes through sex. I get that she is the chosen of the Goddess but why do it on a piecemeal basis... One orgy and it should be grand! 12 hours of unadulterated lust and satiety and it should be grand. Hell it's what she's doing anyway.

So in this book she beds Abe and Mistral and it goes on for far too long. Chapters of the book are dedicated to this threesome, and the interruption by Andais. She manages to bring life back to the dead garden... and then to the dead garden (different one), gets trapped with Sholto - who was dumb enough to trust one of the Seelie and got his extra bits chopped off, but don't worry Merry will fix that by sleeping with him - which brings forth the Wild Hunt so she runs away and her guards stay behind to fight it (sound familiar cause I could swear that I've read this in a previous book) but Merry runs back and kills the thing for them (oh wait, that's happened before too) and then runs to a different part of the country (yup - that's happened before too)! Everything in the book is reused, storyline wise.

*sigh* It's a shorter book than it looks, and I don't know whether it is in terms of wordcount but it was a look shorter than it looked.

However, there were one or two things that I liked about the book. I liked Abe - and the assumptions that were made about him - that he was only crazy because he was constantly stoned, drunk or off his head! But it turned out to be his normal state of being. And the throwaway line about him being the first person to open a pub in Ireland!
I liked Sholto - desire trapped him and led him astray, into a position which allowed the Seelie to remove his tentacles. But the pathetic side of him finished after Merry had slept with him and the Sholto we see after that is more reminiscent of the King of the Sluagh. Also, the last joke about the taxi's and how he can control them was priceless!
I love the touch that the Hallway of Mortality is now covered in flowers. How can you be afraid of a place covered in flowers? Well... Unless you have hayfever which I'm guessing that the fae don't.

I didn't like the pointless mating that was badly written. She belabours the point again and again that Merry likes guys when they are soft. So too does Anita... therefore so does Laurell. Fair enough, but does it have to be stressed again and again how much she likes giving head? Does she always have to use the same language when it comes to writing those scenes. It's always the same no matter how she dresses it up. Okay, so maybe the BDSM bit was different but not majorly so. For the love of pants! I wrote something like 30 odd scenes in my nano-novel and none of them were the same. It's not that difficult, especially when you insist on putting those sorts of scenes into your book. Just close your eyes and think back over what you've done in your lifetime. Mix up what happened and throw in a little fantasy and there you go. The only conclusion that I can come to, is that Ms. Hamilton has had a very dull life! Oh well!

And it turns out that she's gotten enough negative comments on her boards to encourage her to write an open letter to fans (or to ex-fans) to say "you don't like them, don't buy them. It'll make me much happier!" and "It's obvious that people love my books - see my sales figures - it proves that I write well!"** She has succeeded in pissing off a lot of her borderline fans who buy the books to see if her writing has improved, and who have invested so much time in the various series' that they want to see how it ends. I would love to see her sales figures drop but... People are idiots! Me included as I would be one of the ones who just wants to see how it all turns out. *sigh*

*LKH = Laurell K Hamilton
** Paraphrased from here

Comments

[rayvanna.livejournal.com]

In general, I see the sex scene and I skip over it. There were bits in the book that I loved & I understand that the sex needs to be there for the events to occur but I agree if she could vary it a bit it'd be really nice

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

Exactly, I've never been opposed to a good shag in a book, or even a pointless shag, but vary it. Variety is the spice of life and all that! It's bad when I can actually put a book down in the middle of a sex scene and not feel like it was a bad place to leave it.

I mean, Sherrilyn Kenyon and Karen Marie Moning have at least the same amount of sex in their books but they vary it a bit, change it up, put it in to move the characters closer together spiritually, emotionally...

[rayvanna.livejournal.com]

Although she is using it to power them up but with the number of hang-ups the character has?? What did she mean in her letter by challenging you intellectually (sp?) that comment made no sense. These aren't intellectual books in the slightest

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

I have no idea... Intellectual isn't a word I'd use to describe any of her books. They are pulp contemporary fantasy, hardly intellectually stimulating. Maybe at the start when they were more mystery than lust, but not now where her heroines drop their knickers at every opportunity.

I think she is overestimating herself quite a lot, and by not having an editor that will stand up to her, it's just making it worse. I mean, have a look at this (http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1041659.html), scroll down to read what Darla (her publicist/assistant) wrote. Really professional staff Laurell has there!

[rayvanna.livejournal.com]

Who's this Darla one?? Isn't she just a vamp from Buffy? Wouldn't surpirise me if this was actually Laurell in disguise. The story Laurell tells is good & I enjoy it, the problem is the story is getting buried. It's staring to become what the Wheel of Time became as hegot more & more descriptive. I have to say though that what Laurell wrote at the end of her rant about the next book ahs me interested, the problem with what she said is that there won't be much more fleshing out than what she's already told us there. Although yippee to Edward being brought back in. I like him as a character

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

I love Edward and 'Obsidian Butterfly' and I'm glad to see the Olaf storyline getting put out there again, and hopefully resolved! I'm just hoping that he's not one of the people that she's going to use to feed that godawful excuse to get laid! That would ruin the whole character of Edward!

Darla is apparently her publicist and person in charge of the message board rules... The person who puts up announcements on new items from LKH's stables. Supposedly a professional whatever she is. But she does manage to put her foot in it more often than not!

[microgirl.livejournal.com]

Seriously, if you're only reading the books 'cos you're trapped into wanting to know how it works out, don't bloody buy them. Borrow them from someone instead. Don't give her the satisfaction of buying it and increasing her sales figures. She's obviously too stupid to realise that there are an lot of very, very stupid people out there who wouldn't know a good book if it bit them (you only have to look at the sales figures for Patricia Scanlon or any other generic chick-lit author to know that) and a lot of people who - as you say - buy books on the off-chance they might have improved.

Also possibly comment to her and point out that sales figures is an indication of *popularity*, not quality, and the two need not necessarily co-exist.

But mainly, do whatever you can not to give her money. Borrow the books, or buy them second-hand.

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

See while that makes perfect sense, I'm a bit of an impulse shopper! If I see a book that I think I might like to read (usually based on the cover I might add) I tend to be at the checkout before I know what's happening and handing over money. Hodges used to love me! ^_^

But I agree, she needs to get a serious kick in the sales figures. But unfortunately, she won't because a lot of people will remain ignorant to her attitude towards fans/ex-fans because they don't read her column or the boards or the many communities on livejournal dedicated to her petty ramblings. But that's the way the cookie crumbles, I guess.

[kay-willow.livejournal.com]

She's so transparent -- everyone in the UNIVERSE knows about her love life because she doesn't even try to disguise it. Certain books have been a senseless sexfest just to tell you how happy she is with her latest marriage. And her writing is NOT that great and she has this huge egotistical sense of entitlement because she's more than just a fanfiction.net Mary Sue author -- although she's not THAT much more, and I note that they have the same gut reaction. It's kind of pathetic.

[aramuin.livejournal.com]

Someone on lkh_lashouts mentioned the point that her standard of writing may be dependent on who reads it first - the early (and in my opinion at least better) Anita books were written while she had a husband who wasn't really into the genre and so she had to work to 'hook' him.

Current husband was the head of her fanclub when they met so one imagines she needs less work to 'hook' him.

Frankly, some of the sex scenes border on squick for me - like the scene in Micah where they have sex that it so rough, she's bleeding during and after. That doesn't sound comfortable to me.

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

Trust me, if he's doing it that hard, there is no way that she can convert the pain to pleasure. We're not meant to tear and bleed during sex. Childbirth, yes. Sex, no. Hell, I thought the Mistral/Merry scene was a bit over the top and this is me talking!

I don't think that it's just the fact of her home life, I think that the publishing company at the moment is making so much money, that they are giving her a free reign, when they really shouldn't. Do they not have editors strong enough to say "This is a pile of shite, I'd suggest you restructure and add plot - at least, have some plot in there!"? It's a tough thing, but someone has got to do it. Because it's obvious that she isn't listening to the concrit on her site!

[aramuin.livejournal.com]

*Nod!*

Personal Rule of thumb: Outside a surgery, S&M scene or blood clinic, if you're bleeding, you're doing it wrong.

I think she's made a mistake, albeit an understandable one, in surrounding herself with yes-men (and women) who feed her ego rather than genuinely pushing her to do better. After all, even the most vicious 'net rant isn't going to leave a lasting impression if the people you deal with day to day spend their time with lips attached to ass-cheek.

Mind you, this whole "I R GEEENUS!!!" thing seems to be endemic to the vampire sub-genre. Anne Rice wanked first but LKH wanks loudest!

I'm starting to fear for the sane authors left.