BtVS Drabble

[deannawol]

"Ergonomic swords?  Ergonomic swords?"  Xander's voice climbed until it hit shouting level.  "You've got to be kidding me!  What's next?  Color coordinated to match their outfits?"

 

"Mister Harris, if you'll just..." The bureaucrat from the supposedly new and improved Watcher's Council backed away from Xander quickly, trying to explain.  "L...  Last week, we had three reports of, eh, sprained wrists and..."

 

"What the Hell were you thinking?  Were you thinking?"  Xander asked, brandishing one of the aforementioned items.  "Do you know anything about swords?  Anything?"

 

"Well... Not as such no, but..."  His eyes were riveted on the blade as it slashed back and forth with Xander's emphatic gestures.  "I'm sure that if you just tell me the problem..."

 

"Swords are not meant to be ergonomic.  Weapons are not meant to be comfy and shock absorbing."  Xander growled out the words as he stood over the bureaucrat.  "Weapons are vicious.  You're supposed to feel it when you hit someone.  It's supposed to jar as you slice through bone.  It's supposed to wrench your wrist if you don't do it right.  It's not supposed to be padded.  It's not supposed to come with molded hand-grips.  Besides..."   Xander paused in his rant.  "Not all our slayers are right handed!"

Comments

[aramuin.livejournal.com]

*SNERK*

That's just priceless!

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

*grin* See what happens when I get left on my own to think?!

[omegar.livejournal.com]

Odd i can actually see that more of a giles thing than a xander thig, except that final line which was perfect.

Nice piece of fun!

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

Yay! But yes, it's mature!Xander in the new watchers council... Glad you liked the last line ^_^

[lambach.livejournal.com]

Hehehe

I like.

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

^_^

[hauntedreality.livejournal.com]

I'm with omegar, but I liked it, and I figured it was a little ways in the future and he had matured a bit more. Although the idea of Xander becoming Giles like is a bit creepy. Heh. Very BTVS-esque.

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

*grin* Yes, supposed to be after the "new watchers council" is set up... ^_^ Bit creepy but more of a hip-type of Giles I think anyway! I love the Xander becomes a Watcher and goes to Africa stories. This was a very odd thought inspired by too long on a bus!

[(Anonymous)]

It's great. I like it. It's hilarious.

And I'm a buzzkill.

Certain swords, foils and epees for instance, have very specifically-handed grips. The nicer ones even have pistol grips.

The smash-and-grab ones? Yeah, he's right.

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Glad you think so. It was just a bit of fluff that got written while on a bus.

I wasn't being specific with the swords, mainly because an ergonomic sword (i.e. padded grip, weighted badly, etc...) was such a hilarious image in my mind that I left it go just at the words "ergonomic swords" so that you could imagine whatever type of sword you wanted. My mind usually goes straight to katana which are long straight handled or to old broadswords, pommelled and straight. But that's just me.

[grumpygwen.livejournal.com]

Completely unrelated to your post, just wanted to say I'm looking forward to your soon-to-be entry, as much as my disposition allows me to look forward to such things.

[stretfordditto.livejournal.com]

I liked reading this.

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

Thanks ^_^ I'm glad!

[lusciousxander.livejournal.com]

Unlike the others, I don't think Giles would care more or less if the swords were ergonomic. Xander's view on why it was wrong is so Xander, plus, S7!Xander changed a lot from the Xander of the older seasons. I can see a mature!Xander post-Chosen. And the last line is priceless.

[deannawol.livejournal.com]

Very glad you liked it. Giles always struck me as more of a '"Yes, yes, over there!" while polishing his glasses or having his head stuck in a book' type rather than being concerned with the types of swords. Very glad that you got what I was trying for! *smiles* Thanks for the comment!